These past few days have been a bit of a trial. I must say that they have strengthened my faith to a level I could have never before imagined. I went into the mindset of "Look at this through God." I would cry, often. People asked me if this was 'scary.' My answer, "Umm...yeah, it is."
In the last day or two, my perspective has changed to "Look at God through this." See, God doesn't change, and focusing on Him puts my current woes in a much different light. Certainly, uncertainty is still scary. It is not the most comforting of states, but I am in the most comforting of places. I have 'survived' since Sunday. No tears. Not because I am trying to be strong, but because He has given me a strength that I do not understand.
My ultrasounds are on Friday. We will certainly know more then. Most assuring is that He already knows. I appreciate your continued prayers. I am indebted to you all.
Life goes on as normal. I have MOCOYOGRO tonight, volleyball tomorrow and an all-day volleyball tournament on Saturday, church on Sunday and start the whole thing all over again :-)
I wanted to share this thought of the day, though. I found it on an old piece of scrap paper from college. It was lying on our bathroom sink this morning. I have no clue how it got there. It is a quote from Charles Spurgeon:
Those who navigate little streams and shallow creeks, know but little of the God of tempests; but those who 'do business in great waters', these see His wonders in the deep. Among the huge Atlantic waves of bereavement, poverty, temptations and reproach, we learn the power of Jehovah, because we feel the littleness of man.
And this I pray, to see God through this. Father, show me Your glory.