As long as I live there will be something worth fighting for, worth writing for, and worth dying for.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Exploring God

When will we learn that God is beyond our searching? I know it may take me a couple millenia to understand that. He is constantly opening Himself up to depths I never understood were there. But, praise Him for knowing me better than I know myself, because He knew that if He just poured over me all at once, this little one would drown and not come back.

I was in conversation with an older Christian the other day and he said, "The major problem with the church is that we are sitting around waiting for God to show us what to do, when He's already told us!"

It isn't original with him, but it bears repeating over and over again. We have to stop waiting for God to bring a big light show that reads "This is my will for your life." Let's face it. We are not called to flashiness. Sorry. That's just not where we belong.

There is no corporate ladder in the body of Christ. You are just that, part of the body, and you have a purpose- unique and designed for you. A purpose that, when you surrender to Him, He will equip you to be able to carry it out.

How I wish I could adequately express all that God has done over the past couple weeks. How He has brought me through trial and into a beautiful place of peace. Then, He opened up the next level, and my life entered the waves again. But He is here.

We cannot be afraid of faith. We trust God with our forever. We trust Him with the salvation of our souls. Can't we trust Him with our moments? Our mortal moments. The next breath you take is one He gave you. Still, we run from Him. Run from His will. Run from using our talents and gifts except in a case that is comfortable and convenient for us.

We are not called to convenience. We are called to drop it all; to pick up a cross and turn and follow our God. That's His will. It looks different on each of us, but that's it.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Simple God, Complex Faith

I think with time must come to ability to discern what opportunities are God-given and those that are "everything I have ever wanted." For now, I rest somewhere in the stage that trembles at an opportunity and may even be readying to jump before I step back and say, "Wait a minute. Let's think this through."

But, I love how God, if you are listening, always orchestrates a way to communicate His will to you.

A verse that came to mind today as I listened to my boss give staff devotions was this:

"And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?" I Kings 19:11-13

On occassion we look for the things that show God's power. Things "only God can do." When an opportunity comes up for us to do what we once thought impossible we immediately think, "Aha! God must be in this." There is even a Christian song that says, basically, "If it makes no sense, it must be God." That might not be the best philosophy of faith, but there is truth in leaning not on our own understanding. Still, sometimes, being still long enough to find God in all of our self-created chaos can be difficult.

A week ago an opportunity came up. I was shocked by it. Everything in my life would make sense here. Everything. It was just perfect. It had to be God! Yet, when I started considering it, there was this gut-wrenching feeling of "Well...maybe it wasn't."

Could you tell that the recurring theme at this point in my life is "be faithful where you are." Over and over again that is what my Father is trying to teach this wayward daughter of His. To simply be faithful. When He wants to move me, He will let me know. He is not always in the big stuff. Not always in the earthquakes and fires. Sometimes, let's face it, God is just plain simple.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Sarah's Choice

I believe it would be fair to say that the life of a Christian will be one of ups and downs. After all, the life of Christ was. For that matter, the life of God Himself is. One moment, the world cries out to Him, the next it wants Him to go away. Humanity, as a whole, is bipolar. We just don't know what we want. We want the love and security of a Heavenly Father but we don't want the accountability that comes with that. Far easier to worship things and find scraps of love wherever they can be scrounged.

I wrote a couple weeks ago about Sarah, one of my clients at the pregnancy clinic. A client who I think adequately represents where my life could be if I had done everything my way. If God had not intervened by whiping out one of my role models at the age of 23. I've already outlived her, which is mindblowing to me.

At any rate, as I backed up my bags last Friday to head out to visit old friends, I received a call from Sarah. After weeks, and I mean weeks of battling about what is right and what she should do, she caved. Two weeks ago, her little girl went to be with her Creator. The product of her mother's bad choices and fear.

I often wonder what that reunion must be like in Heaven. I wonder if Christ, the Creator, stands there at the edge of Heaven. As the Spirit pleads one last time with that mother to change her mind, I wonder of the mansion being prepared for this little one. I wonder if she doesn't show up in Heaven completely bewildered by what just happened, by the pain and terror that penetrated her safe little world and consequently ended her short life. I believe our Father weeps as He reaches out His arms to her and knows that all of the hopes and dreams He had made her for are now gone. How that all works is beyond my comprehension.

I don't know what happens in Heaven, but I do know what happens here. I do know that Sarah spent an hour on the phone with me weeping about her decision, wishing she could take it back. I do know that an anger rose within me as I learned she was weeping the whole time she was at the abortion clinic. They shouldn't perform abortions on women who aren't sure. My heart broke as I listened to her. Part of me wanted anything to have called her that day and just asked how she was doing- maybe, just maybe, if I had, she would have changed her mind.

But Sarah said something that blew me away. She is a very head-knowledged Christian. She can spout Bible verses right and left and tell me all about what God thinks about this and that and the other thing. She knows her stuff. But as our conversation came to a close and we were discussing where to go from here in regards to a pending divorce she said, "I just wish I knew the right thing to do. I can just never seem to figure out the right thing to do."

That, my friends, is the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. Until you allow God's truth to govern your life, you have nothing.