Maybe it's just me, but there are days when I don't need someone to love me. The days when I'm pretty much in love with myself. Oh, Jessica, good job! You rock this girl! Those are days when I don't search for hugs and can lay my head down a sleep well having never once uttered or heard the words, "I love you." Some days, we just don't need a love letter. Then there are days we do.
There are days when I desperately need that compassion, that acceptance. Days when I curl up on the couch with my head resting against my mother's shoulder just because I need to feel loved. When I'm sick. When I'm sad. Those days. I can walk into the kitchen and, much to the shock of my mother, ask for a hug. I need to feel loved.
The great thing about God is that He loved us most during our worst days. The days when we looked Him in the face and said, "No! I don't want You to love me. I don't need You to love me!!" He still loved, and gave, and loved some more. If that is the case, imagine how much more readily available that love is now to those of us who accepted it. Yet, there are still days we don't want to be loved. Still days we wake up and see that Bible and think, "No thanks. I'm good. I don't need You today." Still, He's there. Talk about faithful.
But it's more than just being there. He is in love with us. Actively, constantly, loving us. This morning, as I reflected on His love, I thought of Hosea, and how Israel actively ran from God searching for another lover and God would pursue her and bring her back to Him. Then, my mind rested on Psalm 139.
How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
Even on the days when I look at Him and say, "Nope, sorry. Don't need You today." He doesn't stop thinking about me. He is in love with us. Doesn't that blow your mind? It blows mine.
We look at Him and say, "No! I don't need Your help, I can do this on my own!" and all the while He waits, loving us, thinking about us, never giving up on us. That is a love like no other, at least none I have ever experienced, and even on my best days, that is a love I need.