Beauty in the Broken

Ever have one of those weeks? One of those weeks when you hit the end of the road and there is this mirror. You see yourself and think, "Wow... I look horrible..." (figuratively-speaking). This week has been one of those weeks. There has been the high of being in the fellowship of Christian friends only to come crashing down as the Devil has assualted harder than he has in recent months. What was beautiful has been broken.

The past twenty-four hours have been difficult. Frustrating, and now... humbling. Even in the moments of our putrid weakness, God still has the ability to use us, in spite of ourselves. As I bore assault after assault at the hand of my heart and all its devices, God was preparing the restoration. My mind finally cleared enough to look at my ministry e-mail to find two e-mails. Two e-mails sent while I was in the heat of my battle, while my defenses were crumbling, and if I had only taken a moment to pull up and cry out to my God, I would have taken a moment to remind myself of all He is and He has done. I would have checked that e-mail and the battle would have ended.

But we are stubborn. So stubborn. I fought on, late into the night. Damaged, weakened, broken.

Then, God reminded me, through those e-mails, after I had long since given in, that He still has a plan, a purpose and a reason, and that in spite of nailing Him to His cross yet again, He still chooses to shower His grace on me enough to use me. He still chooses to take the broken and make it beautiful.

"So faithful. So constant. So loving, so true, so wonderful in all You do. You fill me, and You see me. You know my every move, and You love for me to sing to You.

I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weaknesses. I know that You have come down, even if to write upon my heart. To remind me of who You are.

So patient. You're so gracious. So merciful and true. So powerful in all You do. You fill me, and You see me. You know my every move, and You love for me to sing to You.

Lord, I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weaknesses. I know that You have come down, even if to write upon my heart. To remind me of who You are."
~ "You are For Me." Kari Jobe.