"This is what the soul must feel at the moment of redemption." That is what I have been thinking since about noon today. To recap, last Friday, I went into visit my doctor to renew some prescriptions. Through the course of our visit, she found two masses, one in my throat, the other near my right arm, in my breast. She sent me for bloodwork and ultrasounds. I had the ultrasounds today.
This past week has been a trial and a half. I have learned much that I overlooked before. I have learned the beauty of everyday. The miracle of life. The gift of Godly friends and the power of Christ.
Today, I explained everything to the ultrasound tech and in 15 minutes she had both ultrasounds completed. My brain was whirring because she had spent, what seemed to me, a significant portion of time focusing on the right side of my neck. She excused herself to go discuss my tests with the radiologist. I sat there on the bed thinking, "This is it! This is it! I just know it. This is bad news. Why is she taking so long? They must be calling the specialists. They are probably calling a doctor. She hasn't turned the machine off, they must want to do further tests."
She came back in the room and said to me, "I have talked with the radiologist. We really have no idea why your doctor sent you here.
We can't find anything at all in either place. Your thyroid is perfectly normal. There is nothing here to be concerned about. You are fine, you are healthy,
have a great day, kid."
I think I screamed for joy. I can't remember. I know that I was nearly relieved to the point of tears. I thanked her, told her she had just made my day and left the office.
If I knew how, I could have cartwheeled all the way to work. I practically ran through the doors of the office and told my coworker. She about screamed for me. My aunt, the doubting Thomas that she is, took a little more convincing. But I remember thinking, "This is how redemption feels."
We, in our sinful state, stand on the edge of a death sentence. All we are waiting for is judgement day to tell us to take ourselves and our sins to the deepest pits of hell for eternity. We are hopeless. But then God, in all of His love and in all of His glory, when we believe in who He is, in what He has done for us and rely on Him, we find ourselves alive. Not only alive but cleansed! There is no trace of what once was. He removes it all, leaving us free to live an abundant life. That is the power of grace, and I am loving every minute of it!
Thank you all so much for your prayers. I have learned lessons that I pray I never forget. Our lives truly are not forever, and we indeed, are not invincible. But God, God is ever faithful. He is mighty to save!