Battling Temptation

How do you battle sin? How do you 'kick' a bad habit? You, personally, how do you do it?

The New Year is often full of resolutions. We find areas in our lives that we insist on changing. Most of them center around self-discipline. I am going to exercise more. I am going to lose 10 pounds. I am going to stop doing this, start doing that, pick up this hobby, drop that hobby... basically, we are going to work on disciplining ourselves. Is that the approach we take to sin?

Is struggling with sin really a matter of lack of discipline? How are we taught to combat sin and sinful habits in the Bible?

Nearly all of the references in the Bible to dealing with sin tell us to run. They don't tell us to stand and fight. They don't even instruct us to have self-discipline. They tell us to run. Run. Flee. God even says He will provide a way to escape... not a way to fight, but a way to get away.

There are times we approach sin like we are in some self-help program trying to make us a stronger person. Instead of fleeing alcohol, we are told to stand defiantly in front of the bar and say, "Ah HA! I have conquered you. You have no power on me." We step into the bar and take our seat and order a water. Look at us. We sure must be strong, sitting at a bar and ordering water... yep, we've beat alcohol alright. Problem is, every day we sit in front of that bar we are more likely to fall.

That is how it is with sin. You can't beat it by standing defiantly and sticking your tongue out at the devil (pride anyone?). Instead, we are told to run. Doesn't seem very victorious to turn tail and run, does it? Isn't running a sign of defeat? Not to us. Running is a sign of faith and trust.

See, when we focus on 'beating' a sin, our focus is on the sin. We, essentially, have our back turned on our only Help and are trying to duke it out ourselves. But, when we run, we run into the arms of Christ, and though running may be a sign of weakness, we know that His strength is perfect in our weakness. It's a different approach, indeed, but we lead a different life. We have different motivations, different goals, different priorities. We are a peculiar people, and God calls this people to run, to flee from sin, as Lot did from Sodom. To pack up, move out, and never ever look back.

How do you need to run, this year? Maybe you need to cut ties with some unGodly friends. Don't trick yourself into thinking that you are stronger because you hang out with them. More than likely, they are undermining your faith. Eventually, you will fall. Maybe you need to unplug the TV. Unplug the computer. Radical? maybe, but isn't our faith a radical faith? Doesn't God call us to forsake all and follow Him? When it comes to sin, we are to throw it aside and run away. That might mean leaving some people or some things behind... but is anything too high a cost for a better relationship with Christ?

Are you willing to run.

Is There Still Hope?

Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

I wrestled the other morning with the concept of prayer. For the past month, I have prayed for a young man from our youth group who suddenly faced a battle with cancer. A malignant form of cancer that I have come to name, "Little Monster." A tumor the size of a basketball in his chest and he is only eighteen. Tonight, he is dying.

At the beginning, the prayer came easy: "Dear God, please help Daniel to beat this. Give him a miracle." For while, it seemed that that prayer would be answered. There was hope. He was improving.

But then things changed, and again, we prayed earnestly for a miracle. It wasn't until earlier this week (Wednesday to be precise) that I woke up realizing, "I am praying the wrong prayer." I struggled all day with how exactly prayer fits in with the sovereign will of God. If I pray, will it honestly change His mind? Can I pray hard enough for something to happen? What is the point of prayer? If I pray a certain way is that demonstrating doubt or faith?

At youth group that night, a lesson was given on prayer, but not on the aspect I was struggling with. So, I wrestled and wrestled and decided on my own study and discussion. Can we honestly pray the wrong prayer?

I remember election day 2008. In the days proceeding, my sister called to tell me that my grandfather would not stop ranting and raving about the election. "How could Barack be president?!?! How could God let this happen? I fasted. I prayed. I had people fasting and praying that this wouldn't happen. How could this happen? What did I do wrong?"

I've come to the conclusion that prayer isn't about changing God's mind. It is about changing our hearts. When we pray, I believe it helps us realize our position before God. First off, prayer must be taught. In Luke's account of the Lord's Prayer (Luke 11), Jesus is asked to teach the disciples how to pray. We don't have to be taught to be selfish or to tell people how we feel. Therefore, we can assume that if something comes naturally, it does not need to be taught. Prayer does not come naturally, because true prayer, is humbling yourself before the throne of an Almighty God. You wouldn't just go waltzing into the White House, stroll into the Oval Office and say, "Hey! Prez! Whazzup!" You would be shot. Instead, you learn to approach with the respect demanded by the position. Prayer is about realizing where we stand with God.

Prayer is also about realizing how dependent we are on God. If you recall the Lord's Prayer, used often as a prayer model, it starts off praising God, then asking for His will, then asking for His provision, then asking for His forgiveness, then asking for His guidance and then for His deliverance. Prayer is all about Him! Life is all about Him.

So, what is the point of prayer? I, personally, have come to believe that prayer is a part of our worship. It is a vital part of our personal relationship with God. It is when we share our hearts (which He already knows) with Him. It is while in an attitude of true prayer that we humble ourselves to His will and enter His workshop, where He can mold us, and form us into vessels fit for Him.

When He tells us to pray for our enemies it is to teach us temperance.
When He tells us to pray for those that despise us it is to teach us agape love.
When He tells us to pray for laborers it is to open our eyes to the needs of the world. (We are the laborers).
When He tells us to pray so that we do not enter temptation, He is reminding us that our flesh is weak.
When He tells us to pray for our needs, He is reminding us that He is the Provider.

Life is about God. Prayer is about God. No one figured that out more than Job. Look at his life. If anyone had a reason to ask why, it was Job. He lost everything, and I mean everything. His faith stayed strong and he cried out asking why. God answered by telling Job about Himself. God never gave Job a reason. In fact, He pretty much told Job that He didn't have to have a reason. He gave Job a little taste of His glory as His way of saying, "Trust Me." Reasonless isn't the same as hopeless. We have a hope. Our hope is found in Christ.

So, what is the right prayer to pray? Well, don't sweat it too much, because that verse in Romans 8 tells us that the Spirit knows how to pray for us and that He will fill in the blanks when we just can't figure out what to say. But if you look at the end of the verse, it says according to the will of God. See, God has a will and a plan, and sometimes, even our prayers are prayed in opposition to that plan. When we focus so much on a result, we lose hope.

A friend and I discussed this yesterday morning. We think that many Christians are disappointed because they come to God with orders, not faith. I love the approach of Job: "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him" and the Old Testament characters of Shadrach, Meshach and Obednego: "If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up."

It may sound like doubt, but I think faith lies in saying, "God, this is the desire of my heart, but nevertheless, Your will be done." Isn't that how Jesus prayed in the garden? He prayed earnestly that the cup would be taken from Him. That He wouldn't have to suffer Calvary, but then He said, "nevertheless, Thy will be done." See, it isn't about us, and if God said, "Yes" to every fervent prayer we would be without a salvation.

So, can we pray the wrong prayer? I think we can have the wrong focus when we pray. If we pray for a specific result without leaving room for God to do what He wants, we have raised our expectations and murdered hope. His goal in all things is to work in our lives. He wants to do something with us. If we keep focusing on a physical result we miss that. Prayer becomes nothing more than a petition to the Most High- sign on the dotted line and if enough people pray, it might happen. Just like my grandfather and the election, when our requests aren't answered, our hopes are dashed to the ground.

However, hope is never lost when we focus on Christ. When we ask for His will to be done, when we ask for His strength, we can be certain we will receive both. We just can't dictate His will. He has a plan for others and for us. Those blueprints were laid long before the foundation of time. Prayer isn't meant to change those, it is meant to change us. When faced with trial, we need to pray for strength to go through the trial and for patience to learn what He is working in us. That continued work in us is what gives us hope.

"From glory and glory He is changing me, His likeness and image to perfect in me, the love of God shown to the world."

God's Testing Me, I Just Know It!

Ever have one of those days where you pray for something, "God, increase my patience" or something of the sort, and soon you come to realize that when the Spirit communicated that prayer He must have said, "God, test her patience."

With everything happening with Daniel, then my grandparents... now this. God is testing me for something. I don't know if I'm passing or failing, but I know I am learning. See, this evening, for the second time this year, my kitchen caught on fire. Mind you, it was not on purpose, and it doesn't help that there is no smoke detector in our kitchen.

My brother and I were downstairs playing Halo (yes, I play, but only with my brothers) when I smelled this awful smell. It was a nauseating, 'hot' smell (like something plastic was burning). I assumed it was coming from the laundry room since my mother had just come down from upstairs (so, of course, it couldn't be from upstairs). I went into the laundry room and it wasn't there. So then I was confused and thought my computer was fritzing. I had this puzzled look on my face, turned to my mother and said, "Do you smell that?"

To which she replies, "I smelled something burning upstairs but couldn't figure out what it was."

"Like burning burning? Upstairs upstairs (where our bedrooms are) or upstairs (the main level)?"

"Upstairs."

"You smelled something burning?"

Suddenly, realization dawned on her face. She turned white as a sheet and I beat them both up the stairs. I whipped around the corner to see orange light dancing on our kitchen wall. I ran into the kitchen, saw a tower of flame and ran from the house to the van (where our fire extinguisher is supposed to be) yelling, "Fire! Fire!"

I grabbed the keys to the van on my way out the door, neglecting the fact that it is nearly freezing outside. I ran across the ground in my pjs and bare feet, ripped open the back of the van and literally jumped in.

Justin and I tore apart the van to no avail. The dumb thing is supposed to be in there. By the time we got back in the house, we discovered that our very resourceful mother had found something to smother the source of the fire and had taken the wooden knife block which was also on fire, and had thrown it in some dishwater that was left in the sink.

All doors and windows are open now. The upstairs upstairs is filled with this beautiful white smoke. I can't go to bed right now, simply because my bedroom will kill me. We have discovered that our fire alarms do not have batteries... we found that strange. They work, but they must be electric. However, we know now that they do not automatically call the fire department which is what we were afraid. Justin ripped the cover off one and we just stood there staring at this screaming piece of metal. It isn't even a normal fire alarm it doesn't do the "Beep Beep" it is almost like a school recess bell, this loud grinding sound. I wanted to shoot it. We also discovered that our bedroom windows do not open and that our house sucks in cold air really well.

I find this all comical actually. Maybe it's the fumes. We are all a little tipsy right now :-D I looked at the black wall in our kitchen, then down at my cell phone, which is riddled with messages on Daniel, and could not help but think, "God is testing me, I just know He is!"

Somehow, life is so much easier to take from that perspective :-D

Count it all joy

I had a revelation today. A revelation regarding politics and the election. One of my students and I were talking earlier today about who I was going to vote for. My honest answer, "Honestly, I don't like either one of them, but I feel one is much better than the other. The thing you have to realize is that people are imperfect and all politicians are liars. None of them deliver all that they promise and each of them will screw up." I don't have a positive outlook on politics, I guess.

Tonight, my mother and I were driving home after stopping by California Tortilla so we could sport our "I Voted" stickers and get free tacos :-) As we waited in traffic on the wet pavement, I said, "All politics has become is 'don't vote for that guy.' Neither states why I should vote for him, instead, they spend all of their time bashing the other person into the groud. Like a bunch of immature junior highers. If you want to change something, you get up there and you tell me what you want to do. You tell me what your plans are. You tell me why I should pick you, not why I shouldn't pick the other guy. It just becomes a bunch of mud-slinging and if everyone starts slinging mud, what do you end up with? One big mess."

At any rate, I have been following the election tonight, watching as states turn funny colors and grow stripes. I watch as numbers go back and forth as predictions are proven not-so-accurate. A video link crossed the side of my screen. A video of children singing a song to Obama. In the middle a video was spliced of German children singing a song about Hitler. I know what the implication is.
The song goes:

"We're gonna spread happiness. We're gonna spread freedom. Obama's gonna change it. Obama's gonna lead em. He's gonna change it, and rearrange it. Obama's gonna change the world!"

The 'that's life' part of me wants to say, "Hate to break it to you kid, but no one can make people happy. And as far as spreading freedom... what do you think we are doing in Iraq?"

But as I watched the video end, I saw people's faces and I realized something. These people are searching. That is why 'change' sounds so good, because everything else we've tried hasn't worked. Funny thing is, it never will. In four years, we will face this scenario again. Parties will point fingers blaming each other for all of the downfalls of the presidency and then claiming all the victories. We do this every four years. We will never find a president everybody likes. People are searching... and they will never find what they are looking for in a man.

That realization nearly broke my heart. Those people in that video are frustrated. They are searching and probably sick and tired of not getting what they want. It doesn't matter what is going to change, as long as something is going to change. As long as someone promises life, love, and the pursuit of happiness, they find some kind of hope. But, within four years, that hope will have died.

Politics-- a search for Christ. I never really thought of it that way. In reality, that is what people are looking for. A leader who will be just, and honest. Who is not able to be bribed, who truly cares about them. A leader who will protect, and provide. Who will punish those who deserve punishment but extend grace to those who are repentent. One who promises joy and can provide. One who promises to fulfill our needs and does...abundantly.

Sound familiar? Funny, that sounds like my God, and we won't find Him here, running for president of our nation.

So...as long as you live and breathe. As long as you walk the face of this earth and have fallible man in leadership, rest assured your leadership will be fallible. Rest assured that dreams promised will not come true.

I go to bed tonight with a fair certainty that tomorrow, there will be a man packing up to move to the White House. A man that I don't want to live in that White House. I go to bed with a fair certainty that, over the next four years, our nation will change drastically. My rights will be pressed, my freedoms challenged, my faith persecuted. But most of all, I go to bed with 100% certainty of this:

Whoever is announced the 'winner' is only the 'winner' because God allowed him to be the 'winner.' My God is in control- period. No man in that White House can ever change that. And, when January 2009 rolls around, my God will not change. He will never change. He has always been, is, and will always be the one True God, the One True Answer, Holy, Just, Merciful, Gracious, Loving, Giving, Caring, Faithful, Sovereign, Almighty, Jehovah, Adonai, Jehovah Jireh, My Provider, the Everlasting God, the Lord of the Armies, the Kinsman Redeemer, the Spotless Lamb, the Beautiful One, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, my Saviour, my Creator, my Sustainer, my Peace, my Comfort, my Strength, my Shield, my Fortress, my Shelther, my Loving Father, my Portion forever...

So tell me, Mr President, what job is left for you?

I'm Back!

To start, I find this fairly amusing. I visited my Facebook today and clicked on the link for this page and Facebook blocked it, saying it had been identified as a malicious site... Say what?

At any rate, I apologize to those of you who actually come here. Life has been busy and there is no excuse. Lord willing, my writing deficiency is over and I will start writing here again.

Two things I want to cover today, and then tomorrow we will begin the 'devotions' (see item 2).

Item 1: Surrender.

Christians hear this word alot. It riddles our hymnals and rings from our pulpits. It speaks of sacrifice, of giving up our hopes and dreams, of carrying our cross and denying ourselves. All very true points of surrender. The aspect I would like to discuss is the surrender that just says, "I am willing."

Surrender doesn't always involve a specific thing we are called to release. Sometimes it involves simply being willing to be used. This is the attitude of surrender. I am willing to be used and if I am willing to be used then when God asks me to 'surrender' something, my heart will have already surrendered it.

More than that, I believe God rewards the attitude of surrender. For a good year or so, I have gone back and forth with my writing. It's not that I don't love to write. I could write until the cows come home. It's the fact that I just can't see my writing ever reaching beyond my blogs and an occassional published piece of poetry. So, I get scared, scared of being used. Stupid when you think of it, but the honest to goodness truth.

I feel peace only when I have a moment of brokenness and I say, "Ok, God, this is Your call, not mine. If you want to use my words, they are Yours." When, I do that, things happen. The first time I did that, this blog was noticed out of nowhere by my youth pastor and is used as a discipleship tool for the girls in my youth ministry.

Then I decided I no longer wanted to be used in that arena. I took control of my words and my ministry suffered. When I surrendered again, I was asked to write devotionals for the youth group. Just tonight I was able to pick the courses I would like to edit for the Setting Captives Free ministry.

Has anything changed? Not really. Have I suddenly become a better writer? No, certainly not. Have I had to give up writing? No. I just had to be willing to be used. Believe me, it is harder than it looks and I struggle with it every day.

Every morning when we get up, we have a choice to make. We can either say, "God, this is Your day" or "This is my day." Every decision we make we can say, "God, just use me however You choose" or we can say, "I like this choice, so I want to go with that one." Day by day, moment by moment seeking the will of God. That is surrender.


Item 2: The Psalms.

Writing devotions for my youth group started as part of a 30 Media fast. They just haven't stopped and the 30 days is well since over. Yet, I love it, because it challenges me to search Scripture.

A couple days ago I was really struggling with what to do for devos. I wanted something to challenge the young people to search the Scriptures for themselves. I opened to Psalms and an idea popped in my mind. In keeping with that idea, I will begin to cover the Promises and Principles in the Psalms. There are lots and lots of Psalms so please know that this might take a while!! :D I am very excited to do this study. I have never done it before. I have challenged the youth to go through each Psalm and highlight the verses that refer to God in one color and the verses about our actions in our relationship to God in another color. In the end, we should have a neat picture of who God is and how we can better relate to Him. I am super excited.

So that is what will be happening on here. I will do my best to make it daily, but can make no promises. I really hope that you will join us for this study. It should be good... isn't God's word always?