God really has a way of hammering home the lessons He is trying to teach me. I have spent this week studying the portion of Chronicles that discusses the building of the temple. Even this morning I sat amazed at the sovereignty of God. I was amazed at how He took care of every little detail. He was in it all, right down to the smallest tribe, He was involved, He cared. That touched me this morning. It excited me. Sitting here now, twelve hours later, I understand why.
I went into work today, like every other day. Went to a doctor's 'well visit' appointment just to renew some prescriptions before my insurance is terminated. I walked out with two new prescriptions and orders for diagnostic testing. I might have cancer. That isn't quite the 'well office' visit I was going for.
Ever have one of those days when you want to hit the pause button and rewind. Like you didn't quite catch an amazing play at a football game so you say, "Oh, no! That was too cool, rewind that and play it back in slow motion. I just can't believe it!!" I've been doing that in my head all day. "God, take me back to this morning, knowing what I know now and let me just live this day over again because it all happened so fast."
Tears have come on and off all day as I have struggled with understanding why. I have hit rewind and played the whole day over again. I start with this morning and my time in the Word. I remember how much I rejoiced at the sovereignty of God that now every fiber of my being screams to question. My mind has rushed ahead: "What if it is? How long do I have? Should I up my life insurance policy? Should I get a better health insurance plan?" My mother and I seriously sat down this afternoon and looked at health insurance plans that cover chemotherapy and inpatient hospitalization. We even discussed the benefits of one insurance that has a life insurance option.
As the day has played over and over again, I have become more and more at peace with who He is. I don't have to understand why. As much as this day rocked my world, God knew. He knew what this day would hold when I woke up this morning. That and He knows what the tests next Friday will reveal.
As I've read through Chronicles, I've seen the sovereignty of God at work. I've seen how He used David. Did you know that David couldn't build the temple because of the blood that he had shed? Did you know that Solomon was chosen because his reign would be full of peace? Did you know that the peace of Solomon's reign was the result of the bloodshed? Read it! It's in there! I promise I am not making it up:
The very thing that kept David from building the temple was the very thing that allowed Solomon to build it. How AWESOME is that!!
It reminds me of the verse in Romans: All things work together for good.
Doesn't mean all things are good, but that they work together for good. The end result of what they will accomplish is controlled by the hand of the Benevolent One.
I watched a video in MOCOYOGRO about an aussie name Nick. Nick was born without arms or legs. It is amazing to hear him preach. To see him, standing on a table proclaiming the goodness of God in his life.
Goodness??!?! You say. Goodness?!? How can a man with no arms and no legs consider that God's goodness? That deformity has opened up opportunities that no two-legged person could ever accomplish. What we see as bad is working out for good...according to His purpose.
That's really what it all boils down to, isn't it. Living a life of reckless abandon means surrendering completely to His purpose. That is the very reason for our breathing. And you know what? God would never waste a life. If I am here, I am here for a reason. If I have cancer, I have it for a reason. If I die, I die for a reason. He knew...and He allowed because He has a reason, a reason for this testing of my faith. A reason for this time of uncertainty. He has a reason, and He, not I, is ultimately in control.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Pray the Promises of God
For a couple months now, friends have been really challenging me in the aspect of prayer. One big thing I hear is "Claim the Promises of God." What on earth is that supposed to mean?? The Bible tells us to pray boldly. How does that look? Do I just march into the throneroom of grace, lay open my Bible and say, "Listen, you promised this this and this and I want it now." That's bold. Not sure about respectful, but it is bold.
It reminds me of an attorney's commercial on TV right now. People are shown screaming at their TV's or out their windows. Their battle cry is "It's my money and I need it now!" Is that how we approach God?
Me. I was raised praying like this, "Dear Lord, I really want this and such, like I really really want it, but Your will be done. Amen." A friend challenged me recently that a prayer like that isn't exactly bold and it isn't exactly a faith-based prayer. Might be a good reason why nothing was really happening when I prayed. If something I wanted didn't happen, I just figured it wasn't God's will.
Yesterday morning, I was reading through Chronicles and came across this passage in 1 Chronicles 17.
In context, this passage falls in the chapter of Scripture where David desires to build a house for the ark. His advisor, for lack of a better word, tell him to go for it. That night, God tells his advisor to tell David not to do it. Instead, God will use David's descendants to build the ark. He promises to establish David's family for forever and to never leave his line. (A promise fulfilled in Christ, for those of you wondering).
So here is this promise from God. David has just heard it. It has just been given. We all know God is a God of His word, He cannot lie, He does not make promises that He will not keep. So, you would think David could kinda put that promise in his back pocket to pull out later. Instead, he prays for God to do as He has promised!
Why?
Does he doubt God? No.
Did God tell him to? No.
So what was his reason? Worship.
David declared the promise of God in his prayer as worship to God. Praying for it did four things.
1. It showed he was listening to God
2. It showed he believed God
3. It showed he trusted God
4. It reminded him of the power of God
If I claim the promises of God in my prayer it reminds me of all that He is and all that I am not.
That attitude, of praying the promises of God, has revolutionized my prayer life so far this week. It is one thing to come before God timid and unsure and praying the vanilla "Your will" prayer, disregarding your hopes and dreams. It is another thing to go blazing before Him demanding (like the prodigal son, coincidentally) that He has promised you this and you need it now. I think the happy medium is this, to approach God and claim His promises, not as reminders to Him but reminders to ourselves. In doing so, we humble ourselves before the One who gives and takes away, yet we know that if we ask, He will give it to us. It is a sweet fellowship of trust and obedience.
I don't know if I am showing it well on here. Just imagine how it would change our lives if we went through the Bible and claimed all of the promises that God has given us.
It reminds me of an attorney's commercial on TV right now. People are shown screaming at their TV's or out their windows. Their battle cry is "It's my money and I need it now!" Is that how we approach God?
Me. I was raised praying like this, "Dear Lord, I really want this and such, like I really really want it, but Your will be done. Amen." A friend challenged me recently that a prayer like that isn't exactly bold and it isn't exactly a faith-based prayer. Might be a good reason why nothing was really happening when I prayed. If something I wanted didn't happen, I just figured it wasn't God's will.
Yesterday morning, I was reading through Chronicles and came across this passage in 1 Chronicles 17.
For thou, O my God, hast told thy servant that thou wilt build him an house: therefore thy servant hath found in his heart to pray before thee. And now, LORD, thou art God, and hast promised this goodness unto thy servant: Now therefore let it please thee to bless the house of thy servant, that it may be before thee for ever: for thou blessest, O LORD, and it shall be blessed for ever.
1 Chronicles 17:25-27
In context, this passage falls in the chapter of Scripture where David desires to build a house for the ark. His advisor, for lack of a better word, tell him to go for it. That night, God tells his advisor to tell David not to do it. Instead, God will use David's descendants to build the ark. He promises to establish David's family for forever and to never leave his line. (A promise fulfilled in Christ, for those of you wondering).
So here is this promise from God. David has just heard it. It has just been given. We all know God is a God of His word, He cannot lie, He does not make promises that He will not keep. So, you would think David could kinda put that promise in his back pocket to pull out later. Instead, he prays for God to do as He has promised!
Why?
Does he doubt God? No.
Did God tell him to? No.
So what was his reason? Worship.
David declared the promise of God in his prayer as worship to God. Praying for it did four things.
1. It showed he was listening to God
2. It showed he believed God
3. It showed he trusted God
4. It reminded him of the power of God
If I claim the promises of God in my prayer it reminds me of all that He is and all that I am not.
That attitude, of praying the promises of God, has revolutionized my prayer life so far this week. It is one thing to come before God timid and unsure and praying the vanilla "Your will" prayer, disregarding your hopes and dreams. It is another thing to go blazing before Him demanding (like the prodigal son, coincidentally) that He has promised you this and you need it now. I think the happy medium is this, to approach God and claim His promises, not as reminders to Him but reminders to ourselves. In doing so, we humble ourselves before the One who gives and takes away, yet we know that if we ask, He will give it to us. It is a sweet fellowship of trust and obedience.
I don't know if I am showing it well on here. Just imagine how it would change our lives if we went through the Bible and claimed all of the promises that God has given us.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Choose to be a Nobody
Yesterday morning, I sat down for my morning devotions. I was at a loss for where to go in Scripture, and what exactly to study. My brother is in New York at the Word of Life Ranch right now, and this summer they are studying the book of Philippians. Jonathan and I enjoy challenging conversation with each other, so I decided I would brush up on Philippians and read it through myself. I had to memorize a large portion of it 6 summers ago when I first worked at the Ranch, but isn't it neat how God's Word doesn't get old? The one verse that was our theme verse for that summer hit me during devotions and challenged a very huge problem in my life: my pride.
This was one of the first verses I remember ever memorizing. We would sing it to the tune of "Give me oil in my lamp." I have quoted it countless times and it is the 'Scriptural Basis' for WWJD.
We are missing the rest of the sentence. See, Scripture verse numberings are manmade, and whoever did them would break up sentences. Granted, some of the writers, especially Paul, would write a sentence long enough to kill your high school English teacher. His sentences are often verse upon verse upon verse long. The grammatical rule still stays the same though. One sentence = one thought. So let's look at the rest of the sentence.
I think sometimes we interpret "Let this mind be in you" to mean "Have a Christlike attitude." What does that look like? The verses afterward tell us. The mind of Christ is a mind that makes us into nobodys. Christ was God, so if anybody had the right to tell people what was up, He did. He had every right to come down here and knock sense into people. He had every right to walk around declaring Himself to be God and demand to be treated as such. It wouldn't have been wrong. He could have. He didn't. Instead, He did the complete opposite. He made Himself into a nobody. It says it right there, "made himself of no reputation." Here is God in the flesh, the whole world literally at His fingertips and He chooses...CHOOSES...to be of no reputation. He CHOOSES to be a servant, to humble himself and die on our cross.
How does this translate to us?
You know, all that you think you are...all the 'game' you think you have means nothing. To have the mind of Christ is to choose to be a nobody. Besides, your life isn't about you anyway. To have the mind of Christ is to humble yourself and do that which is beneath you, because nothing is beneath you.
It ties right in with Proverbs 27:2
In other words, quit telling the world you are all that. If you are all that, someone else will be sure to tell the world for you.
Personal application for me: No service, no ministry is below me if I truly have the mind of Christ.
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Philippians 2:5
This was one of the first verses I remember ever memorizing. We would sing it to the tune of "Give me oil in my lamp." I have quoted it countless times and it is the 'Scriptural Basis' for WWJD.
We are missing the rest of the sentence. See, Scripture verse numberings are manmade, and whoever did them would break up sentences. Granted, some of the writers, especially Paul, would write a sentence long enough to kill your high school English teacher. His sentences are often verse upon verse upon verse long. The grammatical rule still stays the same though. One sentence = one thought. So let's look at the rest of the sentence.
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross
I think sometimes we interpret "Let this mind be in you" to mean "Have a Christlike attitude." What does that look like? The verses afterward tell us. The mind of Christ is a mind that makes us into nobodys. Christ was God, so if anybody had the right to tell people what was up, He did. He had every right to come down here and knock sense into people. He had every right to walk around declaring Himself to be God and demand to be treated as such. It wouldn't have been wrong. He could have. He didn't. Instead, He did the complete opposite. He made Himself into a nobody. It says it right there, "made himself of no reputation." Here is God in the flesh, the whole world literally at His fingertips and He chooses...CHOOSES...to be of no reputation. He CHOOSES to be a servant, to humble himself and die on our cross.
How does this translate to us?
You know, all that you think you are...all the 'game' you think you have means nothing. To have the mind of Christ is to choose to be a nobody. Besides, your life isn't about you anyway. To have the mind of Christ is to humble yourself and do that which is beneath you, because nothing is beneath you.
It ties right in with Proverbs 27:2
Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips.
In other words, quit telling the world you are all that. If you are all that, someone else will be sure to tell the world for you.
Personal application for me: No service, no ministry is below me if I truly have the mind of Christ.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
It All Comes Back to Faith
"Jessica, do you trust God enough to know that if you are honest, He will take care of you?"
I'd just been shot. I placed the newly-folded shirt, in the dresser drawer and stepped away. I pulled the phone from its perch between my shoulder and ear and collapsed onto my bed.
"Jess, are you still with me?"
"I'm here, I had never really thought of it that way before....WOW."
Abby is probably one of the most respected women in my life. A dear friend for the last 4 years since we were roommates our first year of college. She is one of the few that I know I can always look to for the sound, level, you-may-not-like-what-I-am-about-to-say-but-you-are-going-to-hear-it-anyway advice. Again, she did not disappoint.
This gnawing at my conscience, this grief, this guilt. Was it possible that it was not just conviction over concealing the truth but also a lack of faith?
The situation is a touchy one, to be sure. I am at a point right now that I am fairly certain I will no longer be working here in August. My employer doesn't know yet, and telling could lead to an early, unpaid exit or a couple weeks of vacation that will be time without pay. Frankly, I can't afford either; we need the money. Therein lies my dilemma. As I sit through meetings like I did yesterday and hear co-workers discuss plans for August, guilt probably doesn't begin to describe what washes over me. After that conversation last night, I know now what that emotion is:
It is a broken fellowship.
I thought hard through the rest of our conversation and into the night. I woke this morning and read through Matthew 6. You know, the part about seeking the kingdom of God.
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
We humans like the 'and all these things shall be added unto you' part. We zip through everything else, emphasizing how God will take care of us, how He promises to meet our needs, etc, etc, etc, me, me, me, us, my. We read the 'Seek ye first' but I think we do not understand how that looks. What does that mean? To seek God's kingdom first. Not only His kingdom, but His righteousness. That is the portion that jumped out to me this morning. You know what it said?
Jessica, you do what you know is right. Make that your priority, I will take care of the rest. I have called My people to be honest, to be truthful. Pursue My righteousness.
Why is that so hard for us? Because we humans are too logical. If I tell, I lose my vacation time, which means 2 weeks with no paycheck, which is bad. Therefore, to help God in providing my needs (said with sarcasm) I must not tell. Because, after all, we all know God needs my help (sarcasm, again).
It really does all come back to faith. In any decision there are two options: serving God, or serving self. You can't serve both of them. But, do we trust God enough to do what we know He would have us do, and not worry that He will provide? That's a tall order for a small faith, but it defines the heros of faith.
Read through Hebrews 11. By faith so-and-so, did something that totally defies all human comprehension and, in turn, God did such-and-such which also completely defies all human comprehension and so-and-so was blessed beyond all human comprehension. Our human comprehension and logic doesn't make room for faith, at all. Even the definition of faith blows logic to the moon:
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen
Faith is what hope is made of. Faith is the evidence of the invisible. My faith is the proof of my God. WOAH! My actions, my attitudes, are defined by my faith, by my trust in God. Do I trust God enough, do I have enough faith to do what He has called me to do, even when it makes no sense? I'm not saying to go jump off a bridge and trust God to catch you. That is straight-up stupid. This is about the little things. The choices I make, based on that faith will show my God to the world, will set me apart from those who make decisions based on logic. Everything, all of it, every move I make, every step I take, is not motivated by fear, or doubt, or even adrenaline. It all really does come back to faith.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
The Climb
This weekend, I was privileged to observe 'real' rock climbing for the first time in my life. Around a camp fire, many spritual parallels were drawn from the experience. Neat how God does that :-)
Saturday, a brave team of young women *ahem* excuse me- a brave team of beastly mountain women (lol)-went to climb a rock. Not just any rock, mind you, this was a 40 ft tall moss covered crevice that was nearly smooth. The general idea was to climb up the rock to the top and repel back down. The progression of events was rather comical. Two people made it up the rock, one person made it down and 15 people got drenched in a torrential downpour. Makes for some fun memories.
For me, the most impacting part of the day was a particular climber. She was having the hardest time getting past the first ten feet of rock. She would try one way, slip and fall, would try another way and, again, slip and fall. Blood was literally running down her one leg, but she continued to try. Leaders at the top and the bottom were trying to coach her on where to put her feet and hands, when finally, her belayer said, "Just hold the rope, I'll pull you up so you can get past this part and then go from there."
That's how it is sometimes in this rock climb that we call life. There are those who have gone before who are coaching and encouraging, but sometimes the current struggle is just too hard to bear. Don't give up; keep going. Call out for help and it will come. There are times in life, when despite all of the Christian friends around us, the only one we can hold to is God. He alone becomes our only hope of getting through.
A friend said that pulling on the rope reminded her of the jist of the poem 'Footprints.' It is God who is carrying us. At times, we just have to completely depend on Him and have Him help us through. Our Help, our Fortress, our Rope that will never break.
Saturday, a brave team of young women *ahem* excuse me- a brave team of beastly mountain women (lol)-went to climb a rock. Not just any rock, mind you, this was a 40 ft tall moss covered crevice that was nearly smooth. The general idea was to climb up the rock to the top and repel back down. The progression of events was rather comical. Two people made it up the rock, one person made it down and 15 people got drenched in a torrential downpour. Makes for some fun memories.
For me, the most impacting part of the day was a particular climber. She was having the hardest time getting past the first ten feet of rock. She would try one way, slip and fall, would try another way and, again, slip and fall. Blood was literally running down her one leg, but she continued to try. Leaders at the top and the bottom were trying to coach her on where to put her feet and hands, when finally, her belayer said, "Just hold the rope, I'll pull you up so you can get past this part and then go from there."
That's how it is sometimes in this rock climb that we call life. There are those who have gone before who are coaching and encouraging, but sometimes the current struggle is just too hard to bear. Don't give up; keep going. Call out for help and it will come. There are times in life, when despite all of the Christian friends around us, the only one we can hold to is God. He alone becomes our only hope of getting through.
A friend said that pulling on the rope reminded her of the jist of the poem 'Footprints.' It is God who is carrying us. At times, we just have to completely depend on Him and have Him help us through. Our Help, our Fortress, our Rope that will never break.
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