Exploring God

When will we learn that God is beyond our searching? I know it may take me a couple millenia to understand that. He is constantly opening Himself up to depths I never understood were there. But, praise Him for knowing me better than I know myself, because He knew that if He just poured over me all at once, this little one would drown and not come back.

I was in conversation with an older Christian the other day and he said, "The major problem with the church is that we are sitting around waiting for God to show us what to do, when He's already told us!"

It isn't original with him, but it bears repeating over and over again. We have to stop waiting for God to bring a big light show that reads "This is my will for your life." Let's face it. We are not called to flashiness. Sorry. That's just not where we belong.

There is no corporate ladder in the body of Christ. You are just that, part of the body, and you have a purpose- unique and designed for you. A purpose that, when you surrender to Him, He will equip you to be able to carry it out.

How I wish I could adequately express all that God has done over the past couple weeks. How He has brought me through trial and into a beautiful place of peace. Then, He opened up the next level, and my life entered the waves again. But He is here.

We cannot be afraid of faith. We trust God with our forever. We trust Him with the salvation of our souls. Can't we trust Him with our moments? Our mortal moments. The next breath you take is one He gave you. Still, we run from Him. Run from His will. Run from using our talents and gifts except in a case that is comfortable and convenient for us.

We are not called to convenience. We are called to drop it all; to pick up a cross and turn and follow our God. That's His will. It looks different on each of us, but that's it.

Simple God, Complex Faith

I think with time must come to ability to discern what opportunities are God-given and those that are "everything I have ever wanted." For now, I rest somewhere in the stage that trembles at an opportunity and may even be readying to jump before I step back and say, "Wait a minute. Let's think this through."

But, I love how God, if you are listening, always orchestrates a way to communicate His will to you.

A verse that came to mind today as I listened to my boss give staff devotions was this:

"And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?" I Kings 19:11-13

On occassion we look for the things that show God's power. Things "only God can do." When an opportunity comes up for us to do what we once thought impossible we immediately think, "Aha! God must be in this." There is even a Christian song that says, basically, "If it makes no sense, it must be God." That might not be the best philosophy of faith, but there is truth in leaning not on our own understanding. Still, sometimes, being still long enough to find God in all of our self-created chaos can be difficult.

A week ago an opportunity came up. I was shocked by it. Everything in my life would make sense here. Everything. It was just perfect. It had to be God! Yet, when I started considering it, there was this gut-wrenching feeling of "Well...maybe it wasn't."

Could you tell that the recurring theme at this point in my life is "be faithful where you are." Over and over again that is what my Father is trying to teach this wayward daughter of His. To simply be faithful. When He wants to move me, He will let me know. He is not always in the big stuff. Not always in the earthquakes and fires. Sometimes, let's face it, God is just plain simple.

Sarah's Choice

I believe it would be fair to say that the life of a Christian will be one of ups and downs. After all, the life of Christ was. For that matter, the life of God Himself is. One moment, the world cries out to Him, the next it wants Him to go away. Humanity, as a whole, is bipolar. We just don't know what we want. We want the love and security of a Heavenly Father but we don't want the accountability that comes with that. Far easier to worship things and find scraps of love wherever they can be scrounged.

I wrote a couple weeks ago about Sarah, one of my clients at the pregnancy clinic. A client who I think adequately represents where my life could be if I had done everything my way. If God had not intervened by whiping out one of my role models at the age of 23. I've already outlived her, which is mindblowing to me.

At any rate, as I backed up my bags last Friday to head out to visit old friends, I received a call from Sarah. After weeks, and I mean weeks of battling about what is right and what she should do, she caved. Two weeks ago, her little girl went to be with her Creator. The product of her mother's bad choices and fear.

I often wonder what that reunion must be like in Heaven. I wonder if Christ, the Creator, stands there at the edge of Heaven. As the Spirit pleads one last time with that mother to change her mind, I wonder of the mansion being prepared for this little one. I wonder if she doesn't show up in Heaven completely bewildered by what just happened, by the pain and terror that penetrated her safe little world and consequently ended her short life. I believe our Father weeps as He reaches out His arms to her and knows that all of the hopes and dreams He had made her for are now gone. How that all works is beyond my comprehension.

I don't know what happens in Heaven, but I do know what happens here. I do know that Sarah spent an hour on the phone with me weeping about her decision, wishing she could take it back. I do know that an anger rose within me as I learned she was weeping the whole time she was at the abortion clinic. They shouldn't perform abortions on women who aren't sure. My heart broke as I listened to her. Part of me wanted anything to have called her that day and just asked how she was doing- maybe, just maybe, if I had, she would have changed her mind.

But Sarah said something that blew me away. She is a very head-knowledged Christian. She can spout Bible verses right and left and tell me all about what God thinks about this and that and the other thing. She knows her stuff. But as our conversation came to a close and we were discussing where to go from here in regards to a pending divorce she said, "I just wish I knew the right thing to do. I can just never seem to figure out the right thing to do."

That, my friends, is the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. Until you allow God's truth to govern your life, you have nothing.

Customized Faith

Journey with me as we meet Naaman, a character in one of my newfound favorite Bible stories. It's funny how, we sometimes read the Bible like we read the newspaper- just skimming for the latest gossip or the most interesting headline, forsaking the rest. Then, later, when some news comes up we wonder why we didn't know. Is it because we didn't have the information? No. It's because we didn't deam that information important.

The same thing happens with the Bible. In the middle of the Noahs, Jonah, Davids and Joshuas, we miss some of the 'smaller stories'- Rahab, Gideon, and Naaman.

I came across this story in my Bible reading last week. I am embarking on a journey to read my Bible through for the second time from cover to cover. Believe me, there are "dry" days- and he died...and he begat... and he died...begat...died...begat...died- I still haven't figured out how to apply that to my life. But, there are days I find little treasures and that makes all of the 'extra searching' well worth it.

We meet Naaman in 2 Kings, chapter 5. In fact, his name is the second word of that chapter.

"Now Naaman, captain of the host of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master, and honourable , because by him the LORD had given deliverance unto Syria: he was also a mighty man in valour..."

This story kinda pops out of the middle of nowhere. It actually follows right on the heals of an Old Testament version of the feeding of the five thousand (honestly, how many of you knew there was one of those?). In these first few words we are introduced to a man who is fairly impressive. He was a big boss in Syria- noble, respected, in good standing with the king, strong, brave. This guy was pretty important stuff, but did you notice the little "..."?

...but he was a leper .

That, my friends, is a problem.

As God would have it, there is a Israelite maid in Naaman's household who says one day, "Man! I wish that Mr. Naaman was with that prophet in Samaria because he could heal Mr. Naaman from his leprosy" (paraphrase, for those of you wondering). The grapevine reaches Naamana and he gets all excited and tells the king (remember, they are friends), and the king of Syria sends word to the king of Israel inquiring about how to make this possible.

Well, the King of Israel is a bit slow on the upbeat. He spazzes thinking that this is some precursor to war. (Talk about a lack of faith!) Well, Elisha (the aforementioned prophet) hears that the king is having an issue and send him a message (paraphrase again), "What is your problem?! Send him to me and I will show him that there is a God in Israel." Happily the king sends Namaan on his way.

Elisha doesn't even come out and speak with Naaman. Elisha sends a messenger to Naaman to instruct him to go dunk himself in the Jordan seven times. Naaman is probably insulted- after all, he is some top-ranking official in his home country. He is obviously upset. If you read through the chapter, Naaman wanted a show.

He wanted Elisha to come out, call upon God and do a song and a dance and cure Naaman. That's what Naaman wanted. Easy, breezy, done. Instead, he gets instructions to wash in Jordan, which make him mad and send him on his way back home. If I want to take a bath I'll take one in the clean rivers back home.

Praise the Lord for Naaman's servants who stop him and try to reason with him.

My father, if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash , and be clean ?

That is the verse that just jumped off the page as I read this. They were saying, "Listen, if Elisha had asked you to go drink snake venom or go do something extraordinary, would you have done it? So, why are you mad that all he is saying is wash and be clean?" Naaman listened, dunked in Jordan, and walked away knowing that there was a God.

There are so many ties you can make from this story. The one that jumps out to me the most is the idea of a 'boring faith.'

How often do we wish we were the other guy? I have been following up on a young woman named Katie, who moved (not went short-term as a missionary- she straight up moved) to Uganda when she was in her early 20s and now, probably in her mid-late twenties is the mother of 14 beautiful girls in Uganda- orphans that God has given her. When I see things like that, there are times when I think, "Now God, why can't You give me that assignment? Seriously! Give me something big. Something with 'GOD' stamped all over it. Give me a big faith!"

And sometimes He does. We all have those Abraham-Isaac, David-Goliath, Daniel-Lions moments in our lives, but more often than not, we have a Naaman-Jordan moment. It's a surety that the whole world isn't going to know about our Naaman-Jordan moment. It won't make the headline of any newspaper. It won't gain applause or recognition. It may even seem stupid and insignificant, but it is no less important.

It's hard, at least for me, to be faithful in those Naaman-Jordan moments. I will catch myself thinking, "God, if you called me to China, I would go. I surrender to Your will for my life." But what if His will for my life has nothing to do with China? What if His will for your life has nothing to do with spiritual extravagance? What if His will for your life is as simple as sharing the Gospel with the gas station attendant? When He prompts you, do you listen or do you scoff and say, "Pssh! That's nothing important."

We have to learn to be faithful in the little things. You know, there was a degree of faith exhibited by Naaman. He had no reason to believe that the murky waters of the Jordan could cure his leprousy. He dipped his toe in that water in faith. This man of great renown bathed in a dirty river- that was his Isaac moment, his fiery furnace moment, his Goliath moment.

How our faith works out will be different for each of us. Katie's faith seems so much stronger than mine, but that isn't necessarily true just because she has landed herself in Uganda. Uganda is where her faith has led her. My faith will not lead me there, but it will lead me somewhere.

Whether in Uganda or sitting in a college classroom, we are called to be faithful. Whether your faith leads you to pioneer some mission field or leads you to raise a family (or maybe both!) God does not ask for a song and a dance, He simply asks that you trust Him.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

Defining Moments

It's September 11, and I feel horribly that I'm not taking time to really reflect on everything that happened nine years ago. It's not like I don't remember or that I've chosen to forget; it's just that there is so much life going on now that it's hard to find reason to sit down and really reflect and simmer in what happened.

I remember exactly where I was. Exactly what I was doing. Exactly what was said. I can remember seeing my English teacher's TV on and thinking a bomb had hit tower one. We were handed tests for MLA formatting in research and looked up as the second plan flew in. She took the tests back. I remember the call to evacuate the local nuclear plant because if it was hit, it would take out a 10 mile radius.

I remember sitting in my 4th period study hall and watching Flight 93 fly overhead and the panic in the cafeteria as we realized that plane was flying so low and the wrong way. Less than 30 minutes later, that flight went down. So, yes, I remember.

Isn't it amazing how some days we never forget, no matter how many years have passed yet we can't remember where we just set our keys. The difference is one is a defining moment. Our lives are full of them. The defining moment of when you become a spouse. The defining moment of parenthood. The defining moment of graduation. Our lives are full of physical defining moments.

How many spiritual defining moments do you have? Some don't feel their spiritual walk is that big of a deal, but do you remember that moment when you truly grasped in ingraspability (new word!) of God's love for you? Do you remember that moment that you realized the work of Calvary? Do you remember that moment of surrender?

I remember a few: major 2 by 4s that God used to get my attention and reroute this crazy train. Still, how often to I sit and purposefully remember them?

How often do you sit and meditate on what God has done in your life, privately? We, as a nation, remember nine years ago. When this generation is gone, the nation will forget, but what about God's working in our lives? What about His continual goodness and grace offered to us? That is more life-changing than any terrorist attack, any war, and how often we forget.